Think Think Think

Hey there ,

In this week’s edition:

• We rely on our thinking way too much

• How emotion gets trapped in the body

• What we lost when we got “civilized”

• Why physical pain often hides emotional pain

• The power of letting the body speak

My dad was a wise old tough guy.

My mom was a brilliant business woman.

I spent years with the idea that smart and tough were the golden keys to everything.

Many degrees later, I was still wondering why I was restless, irritable, and discontent.

I’ve done the research:

My emphasis on being strong and figuring everything out led me to failed careers and relationships.

And if you‘re prone to medicating the pain you’re avoiding, a variety of more serious train wrecks are inevitable.

I did that research too. :-)

What I didn’t know was that the body I was medicating was holding everything my mind couldn’t handle—grief, anger, fear, shame, AND JOY.

I had to be taken to the bottom to see it…suicidal and alone.

Everyone doesn’t need that kind of wake up call.

But that’s what it took for me.

Talk therapy can get us to begin to open up. It helped me get started

But the real change came when I was introduced to a variety of body-focused healing work.

I’ve been on that path ever since.

Most explorations of “mental health” start and end in the mind.

But the mind lives in the body.

Our thoughts and actions are driven by the emotions that live there.

And, until we access the lodged emotions, nothing really changes.

The Body Remembers

Our distress is stored in the body.

If we were taught to be excessively tough, smart, or nice, we learned to hide the most vibrant parts of ourselves.

Crying, yelling, dancing, shaking, laughing—these aren’t weaknesses.

They’re the body’s built-in ways to release pressure.

Most of us learned to “quiet down,” “be seen and not heard,” and “be good.”

This made life easier for our emotionally repressed caregivers.

There was a time when we knew how to express ourselves.

Children come into this world perfectly able to express the emotional truth.

Then we are trained otherwise.

And by the way, we’re all from the earth

We’re from tribal cultures that kept the expressive body alive.

We sang together.

We danced our truth

We howled at the moon.

We let our bodies do what nature intended.

Now we’re “civilized.”

We sit.

We scroll.

We tighten.

We control.

When the Body Closes Down

When distress gets trapped in the body, it has to go somewhere.

It becomes tension, illness, inflammation, exhaustion, anxiety, depression.

We treat the symptoms—pills, surgeries, distractions—but rarely the cause.

Worry and sadness aren’t thinking problems.

They’re signals from the body asking to be felt.

When we tell ourselves (or others) to “cheer up” or “get over it,” we push the energy deeper.

Then we project our discomfort onto the world and the world pushes back.

And we wonder why we just can’t find some peace.

The Truth About Trauma

Trauma is stored in the body.

It doesn’t disappear because we’ve “moved on.”

It waits for safety—for a therapist, a group, a ritual, or a quiet moment alone—so it can finally move through us.

Somatic and expressive work—breathing, movement, sound, touch, art, voice—are the ways the body tells its story.

Talking helps us understand.

But feeling deeply is what frees us.

A Shift in Focus

Healing asks us to listen differently.

Instead of “What’s wrong with me?” ask “What’s happening in my body right now?”

Instead of “How do I stop this?” ask “What’s trying to move through me?”

That subtle shift—away from the head and into sensation—is the beginning of real integration.

Let the body speak.

Let it shake, cry, laugh, or rest.

It knows exactly what to do once we stop getting in its way.

If you’re ready to commit to going deeper, I’ve created The Inner Child Toolkit. It’s a free 5-day email course (see below).

What did this bring up for you?

Just hit reply and let me know (we publish a monthly roundup of your experience, strength, and hope).

Grateful to be on the path with you,

Bob

PS. The Inner Work Community is closed for now. We’ll open enrollment again soon. In the meantime, you can start with The Inner Child Toolkit — a free 5-day course that helps you heal the patterns running your life by reconnecting with your younger self.

PPS. Get my new book - Stop Doing Sh*t You Don’t Want to Do! Write an amazing review here. The Audiobook is now available on Audible, Spotify, Google Play, and Libro!

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