Is it hard for you to get still?

It’s been the most difficult - and satisfying - part of this work for me.

Let’s look at it together from a new angle.

“Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body.”

―  Thich Nhat Hanh

It goes against almost everything we’ve been taught. Slow down. Do nothing. Say nothing. Turn within. These ideas are direct affronts to all the rah-rah productivity, go fast, get ‘er done, succeed, get rich quick, don’t procrastinate, never be lazy, and no dreaming encouragements in our culture. I’m exhausted from just writing that. Phew!

It’s counterintuitive that we can get more done by doing nothing. But those of us on the healing path know there is absolute truth there. When our minds are jumbled with a hundred versions of “you’re not enough” and “you must be better than you are,” we are not accessing our authentic qualities. We are simply doing to avoid feeling. If we happen to accomplish something with this strategy, often it’s not very personally satisfying - but it may be satisfying to the outside world.

We learned to scramble to please our caregivers when we were young. Depending on the level of dysfunction (overt or covert) we became hypervigilant to their approval and disapproval. We became fearful of not pleasing. As adults, we are unconsciously still trying to please “them”, and have widened our sense of anxious performance to the world in general. 

We are often driven by fear and whenever fear is present, we take short breaths. We don’t realize it, but we are perpetually trying to maintain our oxygen levels. While we are doing this, we are repressing all of the other emotions. An unconscious life-and-death panic stays just beneath the surface.

This is why we resist getting still so much. When we slow down our minds and breathing - feelings emerge. All of the anger, sadness, and shame we have repressed come up in our faces. 

Breathing meditation may be the most important thing we can do for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. To allow the messages to calm is top-level mental health work. To allow the feelings to come up is the beginning of developing true emotional intelligence.

It’s obvious that breathing correctly - remaining properly oxygenated - is healthy. From the spiritual standpoint, there is no way to truly connect with the universe, God, or a higher power when we are anxious and running on self-will as our only fuel. So, it goes way beyond physical health.

Running on bad fuel will not get us where we want to be - and where we want to be is doing what we want to do. After all, I wrote a book called Stop Doing Sh*t You Don’t Want to Do and the follow-up program Recover! Heal! Launch!which includes many meditations and breathing exercises to help you begin upgrading your fuel!

In combination with getting support from a good therapist or coach, and accessing community-based support, a daily breathing practice will take you into a more satisfying daily existence. The blaming and resentment will recede. The hopelessness will be a memory. You will find yourself doing more and more of what you want to be doing.

Getting still and more in touch with your body is simple but not easy. It will confront all the conditioning you have gathered to please others. It is an ancient practice with up-to-date research showing profound healing benefits. Join Recover! Heal! Launch! for more on all of this.

An Affirmation

Today, I am breathing as a regular practice. I am allowing my buried emotions to come to the surface. I am increasingly letting go of old messages and living my most genuine life.

Reminder: You are part of a community here. We are supporting each other to grow! Please reply with your experience and comments. We’ll be doing a monthly round-up of community responses.

With a deep breath,

Bob

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