Drive-by Spirituality

Hey there

In this week’s edition:

• When meditation becomes avoidance

• The pull toward positivity

• What sits under the surface

• Staying with what’s real

My first therapist asked me “What are you feeling?”

I had no clue.

I’d spent 35 years completely focused outside of myself.

Trying to smile and self-medicate my way to happiness.

It took a while to learn about emotions.

The full range of anger, sadness, fear, and a true joy.

Then I learned how to pay attention to my breathing.

At times, I’ve thought I could just breath my way to peace.

It’s a seductive idea.

Both are important.

We need to breath consciously to find calm.

And do the deep emotional work for sustainable growth.

When meditation becomes avoidance

Meditation and concentration practices matter.

They’ve helped people for a long time.

There’s a trap in there.

It’s easy to use meditation to feel better for a few minutes and steer away from what’s uncomfortable.

We sit, calm down, and then go right back to avoiding what’s underneath.

That’s not the point of the practice.

The pull toward positivity

There’s a lot of encouragement out there to stay positive.

Visualize what you want.

Keep your thoughts clean.

That can help when it’s grounded.

It falls apart when it’s used to cover something deeper.

You can repeat the right phrases all day and still feel off.

Something inside knows when the words don’t match what’s actually there.

What sits under the surface

Beneath the noise in the head, there’s usually a backlog of emotion.

Grief. Fear. Anger.

Old experiences that didn’t get processed.

If we keep turning away from that, it doesn’t go anywhere.

It keeps shaping how we see things and how we respond.

There’s also something else under there.

A quieter sense of ease that shows up when we do the deep work, and the pressure lifts.

Staying with what’s real

Breathing consciously is essential.

I’ve done several 10-day meditation retreats.

And I have a daily breathing practice.

So, I’m not against it.

But we can’t avoid the work of emotional release.

Trauma healing work, talking things through, being around people who can handle honesty.

When we stay with what’s actually there, something begins to shift.

The surface gets less crowded.

The deeper layers become easier to access.

That’s where the work opens up.

What are your thought on this? Let me know. Just hit reply (we publish a monthly roundup of your experience, strength, and hope).

The Inner Work Community is closed for the moment, but you can get on the wait list. It’s a great group of folks healing together.

Breathing and feeling,

Bob

PS. The Inner Work Community is closed but opening soon. Find out more here.

PPS. Get my new book - Stop Doing Sh*t You Don’t Want to Do! Write an amazing review here. The Audiobook is available on Audible, Spotify, Google Play, and Libro.

PPPS. If you’re ready for a very deep dive, here’s my in-person 3-day intensive trauma healing workshop. It’s by donation. Check out The Deep Waters Experience

__________________________________________________________

Tired of news that feels like noise?

Every day, 4.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news fix. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture — all in a brief 5-minute email. No spin. No slant. Just clarity.

Join for free today!