Hey There!

Welcome to The Beare Truth Newsletter. How about a fun little topic this week - Depression? It’s thrown around by many. It’s the bane of existence for a lot of people. It can be a starting place for healing.

There are several ways to look at depression - and heal from it.

Let’s dig in.

And, we love hearing from you. Your thoughts are always welcome. PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR COMMENTS. It helps us to grow.

Some of us have a chemical imbalance that is organic and pulls us downward. This kind of depression can be dangerous and requires medical intervention.

We all have unresolved trauma - old feelings that are stuck in our bodies. These lingering ghosts leave us in a state that sometimes colors the world in dark shades. Additionally, many of us adjust our chemistry with a variety of substances and behaviors. Depression from trauma and withdrawal from dependencies can be devastating. But there is hope for transformation by engaging in recovery and somatic healing work.

Consider

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but more common and hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal our mental pain increases the burden. It is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”

― C. S Lewis, The Problem of Pain

My most severe encounter with “depression” was in withdrawal from love addiction. Even my drug and alcohol detox was less severe. I thought romantic love was the big answer to my unresolved trauma and when it was removed, I was suicidal and required a lot of support.

Often, there is a rush to medicate depression. If there is a risk of suicide or violence, medication may be the right choice. Otherwise, medications may cause more problems than they solve.

Psychiatry has deep ties to the pharmaceutical industry and psychiatric meds are way over-prescribed. In rare cases, they save lives. For the vast majority, they mask emotions that are necessary for healing.

The first step in healing must be to get sober from drugs, alcohol, codependency, sex, love, food, work, or whatever we are using to mask the pain. Then somatic and psychodynamic therapies can address the trauma that is lodged in our bodies.

Therapies, workshops, and groups that focus on the body and access to the unconscious, encourage the discharge of grief and pain. They support affirmations toward freedom which re-train the brain and results in changed mood and behavior.

There is a misnomer in popular culture. Depression is not sadness. The problem is not that we are too outwardly sad. Instead, we have trapped sadness, anger, and fear that needs to be expressed.

The release of this pain in the presence of healthy support nearly always brings a sense of joy never experienced before. Many of us were told to hide our pain but we cannot do the work required to heal this thing we call depression in isolation. We must learn to ask for help and get support.

Remember, it takes way more courage to be vulnerable than to be tough.

An added bonus is that when we do this work in community settings, others are empowered to heal as well. And we live in a world in deep need of healing.

An Affirmation:

Today, I am getting support, letting my feelings flow, and affirming myself for my courage and vulnerability.

Speaking of vulnerability, I was just a guest on Dr. Stacy Thayers CyberPsych podcast. The topic was vulnerability in the workplace. Check it out.

Vulnerability as a Superpower with Dr. Bob Beare

1. If severe, see a psychiatrist: If you have chronic depression or bipolar disorder that is not driven by ongoing addiction, you may need meds. Find a good psychiatrist who has experience with addiction medicine as well as psychiatry. A quality MD will be able to distinguish between trauma-based, organic, or withdrawal depressive symptoms.

2. For the other 99% of people with “depression”: If you are using drugs or alcohol, get to AA. If you are doing the crazy codependency and/or love dance, get into a relationship healing program. Work? Sex? Food? Gambling? These cause depression. There are programs for all these chemistry-altering addictions. Here’s a list: Recovery and Trauma Resources.

3. Start your healing process: Get a good somatic therapist. Search psychology today and use the keyword “somatic.” Get in an experiential group. A great community program that focuses on healing the inner child is Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA). Consider The Deep Waters Experience or another of the programs on this list: Recovery and Trauma Resources.

4. Read my book: I wrote a book that addresses all of this. Stop Doing Sh*t You Don’t Want to Do: A Straightforward Guide to Letting Go of Unresolved Trauma

5. Do all the boring stuff we hear from everyone: Exercise, eat well, drink a lot of water, meditate, and return to things you enjoy. My experience is that if we get a lot of quality support, the above healthy habits take over by themselves. And we don’t have to force ourselves to do it. Start with support to get sober, and begin your trauma healing.

1. Do you use the word “depressed?” Often? Occasionally?

2. Do you think it’s organic, dependency-based, or trauma-based? Or a combination?

3. Are you aware of the feelings that might be repressed beneath this thing called depression?

4. Do you have resistance to these words: Feelings? Emotions?

5. What feeling is hardest for you to identify? Mad, sad, scared?

6. What feeling is hardest for you to express? Mad, sad, scared?

7. How much resistance do you have to getting support?

8. What have you done already to start or increase your healing and recovery process?

9. What progress have you seen?

The holidays will poke at our “depression.” Stop and breathe. Increase your support.

Remember, we are supposed to enjoy this one wild and precious life.

Take good care. Please reply to this email with your comments.

Warmly,

Bob

P.S. Share your process of healing with us! We'd love to hear your stories and insights. Connect on social media (see links above and below), and PLEASE REPLY TO THIS EMAIL with your comments! Your participation helps us all connect in this community. And let us know if you don’t want it published - otherwise, we sure will.

P.P.S. I need your help. The new book STOP DOING SH*T YOU DON’T WANT TO DO is out now! Get it here. Browse the book and write a great review here. And please forward these links to your peeps! We are still in the promo period and sales and reviews are extremely important to stay on the top of Amazon’s list. And, the Audiobook version is coming soon. You’ll be the first to get the promo edition. THANK YOU!!!

From our last newsletter on Stress, here are the thoughts of some of our community members: